Summer Romance - Part 1/7

“There’s one! Did you see it?” I turned my head to the side, seeking out his horizontal form on a bench identical to the one I was lying on.

“Damn it, no. You win, you saw the first one this year.” There was a mix of disappointment, excitement, and entertainment in his voice as he spoke. “What was your wish?”

“Shit! I didn’t make one. I was too excited; I can never see shooting stars at home. Too may trees, too many lights.”

“Too bad…” he trailed off.

“Next one maybe…”

We slipped comfortably into silence, basking in the tranquility of the moment, the peacefulness of our location. I kept my eyes focused on the stars, but my mind wandered elsewhere. I heard his breathing, slow and steady, his head less than three feet from mine. I smiled. How good it felt to be back in this place, with this boy, on these benches, around this fire.

I momentarily turned my attention away from him and to my surroundings. The sound of the lake crashing on the cliff thirty feet away softly reached my ears. It was a calming sound, one that could surely sweep you into dreamland, but my heart was racing too fast for sleep. After a year of waiting, I was finally back with him again in the place I knew as my true home. My serenity.

My pleasant train of thought dissipated as the second shooting star of the night streaked across my vision.

“Did you see it?” he asked quietly. The high-energy tone from before was gone; calm had settled over us in the preceding lull.

“Mmhmm,” I murmured. “Headed right for…”

“…the big dipper,” he finished.

“I missed this Ash,” I whispered, voicing the one thing I knew for sure at that moment, the one thing I knew we both were feeling. But before he could respond, and before I knew it was happening, my bench was tipping and I was falling.

“FUCK YOU RYAN!” immediately exploded from my mouth as my right shoulder, ribcage, and knee collided with the grassy but hard ground and I rolled onto my back. “Fuck!” I repeated, dropping my volume after realizing I had yelled loud enough for people in the surrounding cabins not 250 yards away to hear.

Ryan, the person I knew was responsible for my tumble before even looking, was bent over laughing behind the bench, apparently thrilled with himself for his ability to catch me off guard and toss me to the ground.

“Swearing at church camp?” I heard Ashton say behind me. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him. He hadn’t bothered to get up from his bench and help me, but he was at least half sitting up to see if I was okay.

“What was that for?” I shot at Ryan as I rose to my feet and rubbed my elbow. “I swear, if you bruised me…” I tried as menacing a tone as I could muster.

Ryan didn’t respond. He was still bent over laughing but taking deep breaths to calm down before dragging a third bench up to the fire. At that point I noticed that everyone from our traditional small group had arrived with Ryan. They were all hanging back, clearly amused with my fall, hands covering their mouths. I caught Payton’s eye and she grinned at me, which caused me to immediately burst into laughter as well. Deciding my righteous indignation would have no effect anymore, I just punched Ryan in the arm before moving to sit down next to Ash.

As soon as I was seated, Payton called my name. I looked up just in time to spot the can of Red Bull coming my way. I grinned and caught it easily. It was a tradition we had started a few years back. She brings the Red Bull and I bring the Mountain Dew, one a night for each of us. Everyone else had to provide their own beverages, or so the unwritten rule was, but we ended up passing cans and bottles around anyway. Nobody there was the type to care about sharing germs. As far as we were concerned, we were family, or damn near close enough.

“Alright, alright,” Ryan repeated, his loud voice immediately overpowering everyone else’s conversations and capturing our rather limited attention spans. “Let’s see who wins this year.”

“Too late!” I said triumphantly. “I won, I already saw one. Two actually, but we both saw the second.” I motioned to Ashton beside me. “You guys missed it; you should’ve come down here when Ash and I did.”

“I don’t think that should count Izzie,” Payton said in mock innocence, and her words were met with a chorus of agreement. “We’ve all got to be here.” I rolled my eyes and she stuck her tongue out at me. I had been the winner for the past three years, and Payton was determined to knock me off my throne.

“Yeah, let’s start over,” Paige agreed.

“Alright, fine. Fair chance for everyone, right? But you better pay close attention. I’m still going to win,” I said before tipping my head back and stretching my legs out in front of me to watch the star-speckled night sky. I took a deep breath and clasped my hands behind my neck for extra support. If you weren’t lying down, it was slightly painful to hold your head back in a position like that.

Time slowly passed as we all looked to the heavens, waiting with baited breath to discover who would win. I lowered my line of vision to a place not far above the horizon instead of directly over my head. It was where I had the most luck, and sure enough, it was not long before a white line streaked across the sky. “SAW ONE!” I exclaimed louder than necessary, triumphant once again, and I gladly sat back up, massaging my neck.

“No you did not Isabella Jacobs,” Payton argued indignantly.

I feigned intimidation at the use of my full name before responding. “I swear to God, I did. I won, fair and square.”

“Next year…” she trailed off, narrowing her eyes. I just shook my head and laughed before popping open the can of Red Bull she had thrown me before. I raised the can to her and said “Cheers!” before drinking half of it. Mmm…caffeine.

“Hey, planning on sharing?” Ash asked, nudging my arm when I lowered the can. My heart picked up speed again at the contact.

“Absolutely not,” I replied sarcastically.

“Come on, I’m thirsty,” he whined.

“Oh shut up, I always share, you know that. No whining necessary,” I said before handing him the can. “Just don’t drink it all.” He handed it back after two sips, so I quickly drank the rest, then threw the empty can into the fire in front of us.

The three benches that were now pulled up to the fire formed a U, the fourth side of the U unoccupied because of the direction the smoke was blowing. Ash was at one end of the U and I was next to him. On the next bench was Ryan, Derek, and Sam, and on the third bench directly across the fire from me was Payton, Paige, and Ava. Everyone looked content, especially Sam and Derek. Sam had been coming since she was born, like the rest of us, but she had started to bring Derek two years ago when they began dating at age fifteen, and they looked happier together every year. The rest of us had a running bet that Sam and Derek didn’t know about, betting how long past Sam’s eighteenth birthday Derek would wait before proposing, and she would be eighteen in less than a year. Payton, cynic that she was, was the only one to bet that they would break up, but by the looks of things, that wasn’t either of their plans.

Sam saw me looking at her and smiled blissfully at me as though she could read my thoughts and feelings before leaning her head against Derek’s shoulder. I smiled in return, but became conscious of something unsettling that had formed somewhere within me. I recognized part of it as jealousy, and I immediately hated myself for it. I had been telling myself for the past two years that I didn’t need what they had. But everyone needs a little love, right? A little physical contact every now and then with someone you deeply care about.

With this thought, I became acutely aware of the person sitting next to me. We had the entire bench to ourselves but were sitting in relatively close proximity to each other. It was making my stomach do somersaults, and I was doing my best to play it cool. Two years ago, the same year Derek had arrived at camp, my close friendship with Ashton had escalated to summer romance. It had just…happened. But that’s exactly what it was. A summer romance. We had started sharing a bench every night at the fire, being the last two awake at night, and breaking our midnight curfew to talk or just lay under the stars. It was Thursday when he kissed me. We were saying our goodnights two hours later than we should have been. He had kissed me, then started across the campground toward his cabin without a word. The next morning, we were young and in love, but it was our last full day together. When we left Saturday morning and returned to our respective homes, we shared the occasional instant message conversation or series of comments on MySpace, but that was it. No mention was made of anything that had happened at camp. The next year, we picked up right where we had left off, no questions asked. The outside world didn’t matter when we were there. The knowledge that we lived in entirely different states was nonexistent, and any concern for the feelings that would come when we both returned home wasn’t even a thought in my mind. Our weeks spent together the past two years had grown to mean more to me than any date I had been on back home, and this year, I wanted to know if he felt the same way.

Ava’s voice slowly intruded my thoughts, and I became aware of everyone peering at me through the darkness as my fingers repeatedly twisted the sleeves of my sweatshirt. “Where’s your guitar Izzie?” she was repeating. “Izzie, did you bring your guitar? Izzie? Time to come back to Earth, okay?”

“My guitar?” I repeated. The question still had not fully registered. My own thoughts had thrown me for a loop, but I was slowly tuning back in to the present and the people surrounding me.

“Yeah, your guitar. Did you bring it?” Derek asked.

“Uh…it’s in my cabin,” I answered, pointing over my shoulder in the general direction of Cabin 21 where my family stayed every year.

“Go get it!” Paige cried, visibly bouncing up and down on the bench in excitement.

I knew that request…or was it more of a demand?...was coming. I was just hoping against hope that it wouldn’t. “I don’t know guys,” I said looking around at the group. “I don’t feel like walking all the way over there and back…I don’t want to.” My voice was weak, trailing off in some places. I lacked the conviction I needed for them to stop asking.

“Please Izzie?” Paige and Sam pleaded in unison.

My level of discomfort heightened. I lowered my eyes, focusing instead on my hands whose fingers were slightly shaking, repeatedly cracking knuckles and twisting into ungodly positions. I gave a small shake of my head before looking to the only person who had remained silent for help. I desperately sought his eyes, looking to communicate everything I was feeling as quickly as possible to get the rest of my friends off my back. Ash’s brow furrowed immediately and he searched my face before glancing down to my lap. If he needed proof of my distress, he could find it there, in my hands. He cocked his head to the side in question, small enough of a motion for only me to see in the encompassing darkness. I nodded and he smiled warmly, assuring, before placing a hand on top of mine and opening his mouth to speak.

“Tomorrow night maybe?” he asked, but even posed as a question, his tone of voice made it sound like a declaration. He didn’t move his eyes from mine until he had finished speaking and hadn’t been met with any response. Out of curiosity, I glanced around at our friends, looks of surprise plastered on all of their faces. Ashton was not an intimidating person, in fact he was probably the opposite, and he rarely took charge of any situation, but when he did, you followed his lead. Stifling a laugh, I smiled appreciatively at him as a faint chorus of reluctant agreement could be heard. The matter had been resolved, simple as that.

It was then that I realized the blatant physical contact we were sharing. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for my heart to speed up for the umpteenth time that night despite my faltering will to keep it steady. Before he could break contact, I twisted my right hand around beneath his touch and laced my fingers through his. I looked up at him, waiting for a sign that it was okay, that this year wouldn’t be any different than the last. He smiled again, that kind of smile that lets you know you’re wanted. The kind of smile that shows you exactly how highly someone thinks of you and the depths of their affection. He squeezed my hand and moved slightly closer, close enough for our legs and shoulders to rest against each other. A familiar warmth spread throughout my entire body, a sensation that seemed to be reserved for him and his touch.

I suddenly looked up and around at our circle of friends. It was silent. It wasn’t unusual, we had our quiet moments, but I was still surprised. Derek and Sam hadn’t moved; they were still curled up with each other. Ryan’s legs were stretched out in front of him and his head was tipped to the sky again, searching for more shooting stars. It was what you did when there was no conversation. Either that or stare at the fire like Ava was. She was sitting in the center of the third bench, leaning forward with her chin resting in her hand, apparently mesmerized by the flames. Paige and Payton were lying on their backs on either side of her, their legs dangling off the end of the bench, also stargazing. It was one of those moments when you can hear the world passing you by, and it’s okay. To break the silence at an incorrect moment would be an atrocity, but Ava did anyway. She had to.

“What time is it?” she asked the general population, tearing her eyes away from the fire.

Nobody made a move to answer, so with my free hand, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and checked.

“11:42,” I replied, immediately realizing why she had asked. She was the youngest of our group, fourteen years old, and her parents had set an 11:30 curfew. We had all thought it ridiculous, since camp curfew for the rest of us was only half an hour later than that, but nothing could be done if she wanted to ensure her presence at the fire Friday night. The only problem was, it was our first night here and she was already late.

She rattled off a line of swear words under her breath as she rose to her feet. “I’ll see you guys in the morning,” she said with a grimace. “Here’s to hoping I can make it into my cabin without waking my folks up.”

“Goodnight! Good luck!” we called after her, watching her bobbing shadow disappear toward the far line of cabins along the edge of the woods.

“I think I’m going to go too,” Ryan said, standing up and stretching. He gave his usual salute before walking around the bench and off towards the circle of cabins in the center of the grounds. “See ya’ll tomorrow.”

Sam unfurled herself from Derek’s arms and stretched as well. “I think we should go too,” she said. “I’m falling asleep just sitting here.”

“Okay babe, let’s go,” Derek replied, taking her hand and standing up. I smiled and waved as Paige and Payton joined them, all headed in the direction Ava had disappeared.

“Get some sleep,” Ash said as they left. “It all starts tomorrow.” Everyone grinned, knowing exactly what he was talking about. The routine we lived for.

And then we were alone. Only Ash and I remained at the fire, and there was no other place I would rather have been. “Why didn’t you want to play tonight?” he asked quietly. It was a question I knew was coming. I could see it in his eyes when he silenced the others requests. He had no problem making their pleas go away, but he wanted an explanation. At least he had waited until we were alone.

I was instantly uncomfortable again. He must’ve sensed it, because he squeezed my hand tighter. Whatever I was going to say, it would be okay. He just wanted to know. “Because it’s just the way I am,” I said in explanation. “I haven’t seen you guys in a year, and to play and sing for everyone the first night back…I don’t know, I’m just not back to that comfort level yet. It’s weird, I don’t know if I can explain it very well.”

“Okay,” he said simply.

“It’s just…my music is really personal to me,” I pressed on. “The most private thing I have. And to show you guys that, to let you in on that part of my life is a big deal. I can do it easily at church or places like that, but the people here mean more to me than anyone back home, and that makes it all the more difficult.”

“But…you played last year,” Ash responded. Clearly he was confused now. “It didn’t seem like you had a problem with it then.”

“I didn’t play for you guys here at the fire until Thursday night, remember? The second to last night we had together. It took me the beginning of that week and then performing in the talent show to get to the point where I could do it comfortably.”

“Oh, right…” I could see he was trying to make sense of it all in his mind and after a few moments, he did. “I think I get it,” he said brightly, a smile on his face. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks,” I replied laughing. “And thank you for helping with it earlier. I don’t think I would’ve been able to convince them to let it go for tonight if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said with a shrug. “I could tell you were uncomfortable. And nobody’s ever supposed to be uncomfortable here. It’s camp, it’s sheer bliss for one week!” And he was absolutely, one hundred percent correct. It was always sheer bliss, all week long.

“We should probably go,” I said quietly, not wanting our time alone together to end but knowing it had to sooner or later. I wanted the latter, but it was going to be an early morning and I was already tired. I definitely didn’t want to start the week off completely exhausted in the morning, and I figured it was a good idea to make curfew at least once during the week.

He groaned and detached his hand from mine. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said rubbing his eyes and standing up. He extended a hand and pulled me up to his level. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him for a close hug. I delighted in his touch, feeling every inch of his body that touched mine, his hands resting on the small of my back and his breath against my neck. “Goodnight Bella,” he whispered.

My breath caught in my throat. I never liked being called anything but Izzie, and I hadn’t been called Bella since it had come from his lips, whispered into my ear on occasions like this a year ago when we were alone and nobody could overhear. But there was something about it coming from him that made it okay. He was the one person in the world that called me Bella, and hearing it again made me realize exactly how much I had missed him over the past fifty-one weeks.

He pulled back but kept his hands planted on my hips for a moment longer before they dropped to his sides and he turned. “Goodnight Ash,” I whispered. I didn’t know if he heard me or not as he was walking away, but I couldn’t gather any more volume for my voice. My head nearly in the clouds, I set off in my own direction, my head spinning with thoughts of the next day.